We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
