Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
