Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Randomize
