And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
50% drunk capacity currently
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
