So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
