i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
