But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
