She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
