dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
