so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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