Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
