I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
