So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
