I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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