dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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