This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
