yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
