Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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