So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
