You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
