so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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