I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
