the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize