if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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