the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
