"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
