I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
