Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
