the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
