Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
