I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
