Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
