Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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