do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
