Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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