Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
