watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
