Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
