it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
