YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize