planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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