Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
