Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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