He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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