guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
