I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
