I wanna bring you to show and tell
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
