just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
