Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think pants incapable of making pants work
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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