Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
