i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize