I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
