Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
