Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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