don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
