She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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